Yes I messed up again. No, not my bf, that's not the relationship I messed up. A good friend. A very good friend. A good friend that, if the bf were to leave me, would gladly have me. And I'd gladly have had him. But, alas, the great relationship failboat has sunken and taken me with it again. I fucked up. BAD.
I went to him with a problem I should have known would hurt him to hear about, but I was too worried, too wrapped up in my own thoughts, too nervous, too selfish to think before I acted. WHY the hell do I keep doing this? Why the hell do I keep ruining perfectly good relationships? How the hell was I supposed to know that I would say the whole thing the wrong way, and have it taken as me trying to hurt someone? I meant to ask for help. For a pat on the back and an "it'll be ok". But I went to the wrong person and said the wrong words. And sank that ship. I just hope that my friend, my dear friend, my late-night phone call, my midday cheer-up, my afternoon chat can find it in his heart to forgive me. I did a bad, bad thing. And I won't be happy until I can right it.
